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-The Man Before You- by ~Avry:iconAvry:





Looking into his eyes, seeing his tears,
Filled with sorrow, yet empty with fear,

You ask every moment, you stare into his eyes,
He says he's ok, can't you see past the lies?

You keep talking, like he's just another problem in your day,
His heart rots, it's sickening, things won't last this way,

You watch others around you, they catch your eye,
So you leave and you follow while he stands and he cries,

Life fades from his view, he just wanted to be loved,
To share his life with you but you only shoved,

The crowd then falls silent as the doors open fly,
His feelings run violent, he screams his Goodbye,

Look into his eyes now and tell me, what do you see?
A broken heart giving its last bow, this time he will leave,

A single shot fired, crimson covers the floor,
His feelings expired, he won't cry anymore.
©2004-2009 ~Avry
:iconavry:

Author's Comments

All some people need is attention and love, some a little more than others. Enjoy.

-Gabe

-------------
My writings are what they are. They are NOT perfect, so if you don't like them all I can say is "Sorry".
-------------

The Art Deviation ~Avry~ is Copyright © 2006 Jack-S-Riddly
It was made for Avry and is used with permission.

Comments


love 1 1 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 1 1
:iconknavewav:
powerful piece.

--
my sad, sorry, selffish, cry out to the cutter, im cutting trying to picture your black broken heart

love is not like anything.
especially a fucking knife.
:iconavry:
Thank You For The Comment..

-Avry-
:iconsykobloodcraze:
That is an amazing poem...wonderful imagery, I could see the scene unfold...very powerful words. Also, the parallelism is wonderful. The last line is gorgeous, as is the entire poem. Although all things can be improved, this writing has very little room for such... :+fav:

--
~
:pointr:WiLL WoRk FoR CoMmEnTs:pointl:
~
"We all did it... it must be right."
:iconavry:
Thank You Greatly For The Comment.. :)..

-Avry-
:iconthought-convulsions:
...good work... I like the thought and feeling behind it ... at times though it seems kind of rough but it adds a more emotional feel to it

--
"words are weapons in which to slit thoughts with a silent hum..."
:iconavry:
Thanks Thought.. :)..

-Avry-
:iconvimpressofdoom:
very very nice. I'd say the line A broken heart giving a last bow, This time he will leave,

is a bit off, I'd switch it around a bit and take out a few syllables. Other than that, great job. *claps*

--
does not exist
:iconcutiepie2003abc:
wow.......that was just soo....*speachless* i love it, you know exactly how to word your emotions, i wish i had that ability:+fav:, Great job!!!
:icondarknessrevenge:
Wow nice work. Its really great. Lovely work. I really like it. I love the feelings and emotion that swirl within it. Its really wonderful. Amasingly good. I love the subject. I can relate but not fully. I can understand the emotions. Cool work and keep it up..

--
Founder and Admin of:: Death Is Slow [link]

Proud member of:: Claustrophobic [link]

Yaoi-Yuri-Club [link]
:iconeclipseklutz:
*gaping* Powerful, emotional... a bit disturbing but amazing! Great job and a definite :+favlove: Once again, Avry, good job!

--
-Fred
"Did you expect me to believe I was the only one to fall?"

Details

June 22, 2004
1.0 KB
122 KB
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